I've been a big fan of Cote and Charles' DrunkAndRetired podcast for a while now - it helps to ease the 10 minute walk to work every morning. I came across this great post on enterprise software by Cote on his People Over Process blog.
To those who don't know, I work in the BPM sector for a company called Pegasystems - we specialise in providing business process managment solutions to our clients. Cotes post perfectly states the complexity we encounter on a daily basis - the fact that each organisation involved - each vendor - specifies that their product is middleware. From network infrastructure solutions (IBMs Websphere family) through to SAP and Pegas own PRPC, to some degree this all consitutes as middleware. Having to deal not only with middleware, but a miriad of different front and back end technologies is enough to keep any developer on his/her toes.
Cote mentions the 'customization tug of war'. Each client will want the software to perfectly align to their business processes. Each vendor wants the client to accept the software to be provided OOTB (out of the box). Where I fit in is to ensure the two align by configuring the application to meet business requirements.
With software positions moving out of the country, it is very important to never underestimate the importance of business knowledge - the 'MBA programmer' may keep business related development jobs in the country, but going forward the emphasis should lie on the programmer - changing context to the programmer with an MBA. A floating workforce, with the maleability to rapidly adapt to different verticals is my vision.
Hm - where's my London Business School brochure gone again?
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
“I know, I know. I should be happy with my 12″ PowerBook. But I can dream, can’t I?”
So - you all remember my post proclaiming my undying love to all things apple? I think I may have come across someone who could relate:
I wonder if she'll be free to sing at my wedding? ;)
I wonder if she'll be free to sing at my wedding? ;)
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Not surprising in the slightest...
Why would it not surprise me if the net lost its neutrality? Ten years ago, I would never have been able to imagine an internet that was not equally available to all - all areas of the internet, limited only by your baud rate. Allowing certain organiations to pay our ISPs to get a faster connection to us would have seemed ridiculous.
Network Neutrality — or "Net Neutrality" for short — is the guiding principle that preserves the free and open Internet.
Net Neutrality ensures that all users can access the content or run the applications and devices of their choice. With Net Neutrality, the network's only job is to move data — not choose which data to privilege with higher quality service.
Net Neutrality prevents the companies that control the wires from discriminating against content based on its source or ownership.
Net Neutrality is the reason why the Internet has driven economic innovation, democratic participation, and free speech online. It's why the Internet has become an unrivaled environment for open communications, civic involvement and free speech.
(from SaveTheInternet.com)
Have a read of this article on net neutrality. The very concept is chilling - and gives us an idea of the level of freedom we enjoy on the internet at the moment. Regardless of whether you're looking for the Microsoft site or a quick update on my life at neilsamtani.com - there's a level playing field. Give giant corporations the ability to 'control' the internet, and we're heading on a slippery slope to the end of the current era of 'our internet' to a stark vision of the 'corporate internet'.
Network Neutrality — or "Net Neutrality" for short — is the guiding principle that preserves the free and open Internet.
Net Neutrality ensures that all users can access the content or run the applications and devices of their choice. With Net Neutrality, the network's only job is to move data — not choose which data to privilege with higher quality service.
Net Neutrality prevents the companies that control the wires from discriminating against content based on its source or ownership.
Net Neutrality is the reason why the Internet has driven economic innovation, democratic participation, and free speech online. It's why the Internet has become an unrivaled environment for open communications, civic involvement and free speech.
(from SaveTheInternet.com)
Have a read of this article on net neutrality. The very concept is chilling - and gives us an idea of the level of freedom we enjoy on the internet at the moment. Regardless of whether you're looking for the Microsoft site or a quick update on my life at neilsamtani.com - there's a level playing field. Give giant corporations the ability to 'control' the internet, and we're heading on a slippery slope to the end of the current era of 'our internet' to a stark vision of the 'corporate internet'.
An Ode to Kit Kat Chunky
So driving yesterday - stopped for petrol and picked up a kit kat chunky, peanut butter. Made a mental note to write something about how great it was. I promise this (fairly terrible) poem sounded better in my head while I was eating the kitkat, thought I should post it here regardless.
Kit Kat Chunky,
Makes My Belly
Very Happy
When Im hungry.
Kit Kat Chunky,
And My Belly
Go Together
Like Peanut Butter and Kit Kat.
(poems are better when they don't rhyme)
Weekend details to follow on a later post. For the moment have a look at this - I always thought cats were useless animals, and as unlikely as it is to find a bear in canary wharf, this does make me think again about getting a cat...
Kit Kat Chunky,
Makes My Belly
Very Happy
When Im hungry.
Kit Kat Chunky,
And My Belly
Go Together
Like Peanut Butter and Kit Kat.
(poems are better when they don't rhyme)
Weekend details to follow on a later post. For the moment have a look at this - I always thought cats were useless animals, and as unlikely as it is to find a bear in canary wharf, this does make me think again about getting a cat...
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
New vocabulary....
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest,
in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation withYiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die,
your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,
alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year's winners:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an
indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?
And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning
and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation withYiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die,
your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,
alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year's winners:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an
indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?
And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning
and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Serious poses....or at least trying!
Keeping your eyes on the prize and your fingers on the pulse; welcome to round 2 of the weekly weekend round up...
One point of conversation between us is whether going out on Friday night is better than going out on Saturday night (we're now too old to go out both nights!). Friday nights have some crucial benefits: the weekend seems longer, the evening, although planned, tends to be more impromptus - we go to places where we don't have to worry about guest lists/tables/ridiculous entrance costs. This time around costs were less than usual thanks for a brilliant promotion sent around by Dips - 50% off food and drink at a number of London bars. This meant we managed to get 10 drinks (6 beers and 4 cocktails!) for £22. That's the equivalent of 3 and a half drinks at other clubs (i.e. Teatro - Dips).
After a few drinks, the customary 'pose-off' between Seems and myself was in full swing. I came out with an almost customary 'thinker' - stroking my chin, the look that exuded a powerful connection with the camera. Seema hit back with the relaxed slouch that she's got down. I attempted to retort, but the chuckles from the onlookers put me off - you were lucky this time Seems - next time I'll going to 'Magnum' your ass.
Saturday was spent on wedding related matters. Went up to Deeps' place and met the Maharaj who's going to marry us. Some interesting things to know about our Maharaj:
* His father was a Maharaj, as was his father before him.
* He's a policeman from Leicester (I didn't realise these guys had lives - I thought they just lived in temples until they got called out!)
* He's an advocate for female Maharaj's (or would that be Maharanis?)
* He doesn't think Jade was the real racist in Big Brother - the other two are the ones to beware of...(we all agreed on that point!)
After that, we went up to meet a mehndi artist, before heading up the road to pick up Habs - he had just come off his shift (he's in da po-lice),
so we grabbed a bite to eat at Prakashs restaurant, where aunty made us try the best tasting veg food -e v e r- created - Majestic Paneer. Even the name sounds royal.
Anyway, nothing happened on Sunday. NOTHING. Utd didn't lose to any London based football team - there's no proof - the table hasn't changed, Utd are still 6 points ahead of second place Chelsea. You can't prove a thing.
Tomorrow the blogs go back to our existential philosophical discussions, mixed with enterprise software discussions.
I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
One point of conversation between us is whether going out on Friday night is better than going out on Saturday night (we're now too old to go out both nights!). Friday nights have some crucial benefits: the weekend seems longer, the evening, although planned, tends to be more impromptus - we go to places where we don't have to worry about guest lists/tables/ridiculous entrance costs. This time around costs were less than usual thanks for a brilliant promotion sent around by Dips - 50% off food and drink at a number of London bars. This meant we managed to get 10 drinks (6 beers and 4 cocktails!) for £22. That's the equivalent of 3 and a half drinks at other clubs (i.e. Teatro - Dips).
After a few drinks, the customary 'pose-off' between Seems and myself was in full swing. I came out with an almost customary 'thinker' - stroking my chin, the look that exuded a powerful connection with the camera. Seema hit back with the relaxed slouch that she's got down. I attempted to retort, but the chuckles from the onlookers put me off - you were lucky this time Seems - next time I'll going to 'Magnum' your ass.
Saturday was spent on wedding related matters. Went up to Deeps' place and met the Maharaj who's going to marry us. Some interesting things to know about our Maharaj:
* His father was a Maharaj, as was his father before him.
* He's a policeman from Leicester (I didn't realise these guys had lives - I thought they just lived in temples until they got called out!)
* He's an advocate for female Maharaj's (or would that be Maharanis?)
* He doesn't think Jade was the real racist in Big Brother - the other two are the ones to beware of...(we all agreed on that point!)
After that, we went up to meet a mehndi artist, before heading up the road to pick up Habs - he had just come off his shift (he's in da po-lice),
so we grabbed a bite to eat at Prakashs restaurant, where aunty made us try the best tasting veg food -e v e r- created - Majestic Paneer. Even the name sounds royal.
Anyway, nothing happened on Sunday. NOTHING. Utd didn't lose to any London based football team - there's no proof - the table hasn't changed, Utd are still 6 points ahead of second place Chelsea. You can't prove a thing.
Tomorrow the blogs go back to our existential philosophical discussions, mixed with enterprise software discussions.
I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Enlightenment Principles and Empiricism
A comment made to Ron Suskind by a member of the Bush administration.
''We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality -- judiciously, as you will -- we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.''
Puts it all in perspective...
''We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality -- judiciously, as you will -- we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.''
Puts it all in perspective...
Dear Mr. Cameron
rac·ism [rey-siz-uhm]
–noun
1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.
3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races
It seemed as though there were three steps in the process from converting Jade Goody from a repulsive, foul-mouthed talentless celebrity to a racist, repulsive, foul-mouthed talentless bigot.
1. Racist remarks made by Goody
2. Media reports
3. Public frenzy
I very much doubt that JG is a hardened racist. Everyone, to a certain degree, will racially discriminate. She did not insinuate that white people were in any way superiour to indian people. She did not seem to hate Shilpa Shetty because of her being indian, and if she did, she never mentioned it in the show. However, the issue of race did come up - and that's what intrigued the audience. It's very rare for someone who is not a minority to see an example of racial discrimination; complete with the anguish it puts the recepient through. That is what made CBB such compulsive viewing this week.
A matter that infuriated me, however, was when David Cameron stated 'There's a great regulator called the off button and I think we should use it.'
Mr. Cameron - If your approach to tackling racism is to 'switch off' - I pray that you never reach power. When you see racism, you have to address it. Turning your back on it, or switching off your TV, will not make this monster go away.
–noun
1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.
3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races
It seemed as though there were three steps in the process from converting Jade Goody from a repulsive, foul-mouthed talentless celebrity to a racist, repulsive, foul-mouthed talentless bigot.
1. Racist remarks made by Goody
2. Media reports
3. Public frenzy
I very much doubt that JG is a hardened racist. Everyone, to a certain degree, will racially discriminate. She did not insinuate that white people were in any way superiour to indian people. She did not seem to hate Shilpa Shetty because of her being indian, and if she did, she never mentioned it in the show. However, the issue of race did come up - and that's what intrigued the audience. It's very rare for someone who is not a minority to see an example of racial discrimination; complete with the anguish it puts the recepient through. That is what made CBB such compulsive viewing this week.
A matter that infuriated me, however, was when David Cameron stated 'There's a great regulator called the off button and I think we should use it.'
Mr. Cameron - If your approach to tackling racism is to 'switch off' - I pray that you never reach power. When you see racism, you have to address it. Turning your back on it, or switching off your TV, will not make this monster go away.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
For my next trick, I'm going to turn water into...funk!
As I sat atop the rocking HSBC tower in canary wharf today, watching the tiny people below getting picked up and dropped by the gale force winds that shook the country today, I thought:
"My. that's some mighty strong wind out there"
If (according to Jainism) the wind has a soul, and the water has a soul, and the wind is blatantly upsetting the water; does the wind get bad karma? Ten people died today as a direct result of the wind. Does that mean that the soul of the wind will come back reincarnated as an even lesser single sense ajiva being?
As I had mentioned earlier, is it right that we should pay the penance of actions performed in our past lives through our current life? I can't tell if I had a past life, and if I did I can't remember it. Many may argue that they would not want to be punished for something they do not remember doing. Let's turn this around: if someone hurt me in my past life, and their soul was reborn as one of my friends (or for that sake, a stranger), I wouldn't want to see them hurt. I can't remember what they did. They can't remember what they did. They are of no threat to me now - why should they be punished?
I like the idea of reincarnation and karma to attain salvation - but sometimes bad things happen to you because of circumstance. If you walk around in rough neighbourhoods, you'll probably get mugged. If you smoke, you'll probably get cancer. If you steal, you'll get caught and adopt the title of 'girlfriend' for some burly (yet sensitive) in-mate. One may argue that it's karma that puts us in the compromised position in the first place. If this is the case, are we just part of the deterministic world-view of causality; embroiled in a neverending chain of events according to the laws of karma? Are we simply running through the pre-defined (brownian) motions?
At that point my thoughts were rudely interrupted by the call of work. For those who know me, I have a slight penchant to start ranting, and I promised myself I would say something interesting that did not involve religion (me! limit my religion rants! I got a bloomin' E for GCSE religion!?). Over the past weeks I've become very interested in a number of blogs - one of which is 'Enterprise Architecture: Thought Leadership'. The term thought leadership (always italics - it looks better that way!) has become an almost sacred scripture in my company (pardon the religious term, but one could say it's been canonified). The blogs author is James McGovern. He's a great author on enterprise architecture. Like a real author. Books and everthing! I came across this diagram on one of his posts - titled 'How to be an expert'
Having trouble? The number one route to becoming an expert in your field is to be passionate about it. Want more? Check out the home for creating passionate users: headrush.
Right - topical discussion? check. religion? check. work? check.
wonderful, this could be the most boring blog post ever created.
"My. that's some mighty strong wind out there"
If (according to Jainism) the wind has a soul, and the water has a soul, and the wind is blatantly upsetting the water; does the wind get bad karma? Ten people died today as a direct result of the wind. Does that mean that the soul of the wind will come back reincarnated as an even lesser single sense ajiva being?
As I had mentioned earlier, is it right that we should pay the penance of actions performed in our past lives through our current life? I can't tell if I had a past life, and if I did I can't remember it. Many may argue that they would not want to be punished for something they do not remember doing. Let's turn this around: if someone hurt me in my past life, and their soul was reborn as one of my friends (or for that sake, a stranger), I wouldn't want to see them hurt. I can't remember what they did. They can't remember what they did. They are of no threat to me now - why should they be punished?
I like the idea of reincarnation and karma to attain salvation - but sometimes bad things happen to you because of circumstance. If you walk around in rough neighbourhoods, you'll probably get mugged. If you smoke, you'll probably get cancer. If you steal, you'll get caught and adopt the title of 'girlfriend' for some burly (yet sensitive) in-mate. One may argue that it's karma that puts us in the compromised position in the first place. If this is the case, are we just part of the deterministic world-view of causality; embroiled in a neverending chain of events according to the laws of karma? Are we simply running through the pre-defined (brownian) motions?
At that point my thoughts were rudely interrupted by the call of work. For those who know me, I have a slight penchant to start ranting, and I promised myself I would say something interesting that did not involve religion (me! limit my religion rants! I got a bloomin' E for GCSE religion!?). Over the past weeks I've become very interested in a number of blogs - one of which is 'Enterprise Architecture: Thought Leadership'. The term thought leadership (always italics - it looks better that way!) has become an almost sacred scripture in my company (pardon the religious term, but one could say it's been canonified). The blogs author is James McGovern. He's a great author on enterprise architecture. Like a real author. Books and everthing! I came across this diagram on one of his posts - titled 'How to be an expert'
Having trouble? The number one route to becoming an expert in your field is to be passionate about it. Want more? Check out the home for creating passionate users: headrush.
Right - topical discussion? check. religion? check. work? check.
wonderful, this could be the most boring blog post ever created.
Why do we blog?
I'm tired - constant bombardment of up to the minute news, updated websites, conversations, phone calls, blogs, podcasts, 2 million channels of entertainment (not one of them entertaining), a sea of books. My watch, heart rate monitor, number of calories burnt. Storylines, taglines, punchlines, mottos, logos, management lingo. My precious email; It's all exhausted me. We notice who wears what and when, and who says what to whom. An endless stream -nay - a raging torrent of information hits us every day, constantly and consistently. Everything is the biggest thing ever, the most important thing that we will hear about all day, all week, all year. It's a neverending hurricane, and each one of us is swaying with the gale force winds of information. Information overload - there's just too much information for one human being to absorb in an ever exanding world.
So why do we blog? It gives us a vent, a release. A channel to express the threads of information we've managed to extract over the course of the day. A minute to structure our thoughts and put things in perspective. To draw parallels and go off on tangents. To group together related and non related issues, drawing a thread out of the info-ether and associating the information to your life, and, better than making a mental note of it, blogging it. You've aggregated, consolidated, and radiated the yourself in the information.
Enjoy it, you're now one with the ether.
'The volume of information that crossed our brains in one week at the end of the 20th century is more than a person received in a lifetime at the beginning of it. '
So why do we blog? It gives us a vent, a release. A channel to express the threads of information we've managed to extract over the course of the day. A minute to structure our thoughts and put things in perspective. To draw parallels and go off on tangents. To group together related and non related issues, drawing a thread out of the info-ether and associating the information to your life, and, better than making a mental note of it, blogging it. You've aggregated, consolidated, and radiated the yourself in the information.
Enjoy it, you're now one with the ether.
'The volume of information that crossed our brains in one week at the end of the 20th century is more than a person received in a lifetime at the beginning of it. '
Monday, January 15, 2007
Snow Patrol, 18th December 2006
Had these two videos lying around, thought i'd be a good samaritan and share them with the world.
I'll just keep them there til Snowpatrols lawyers come a'knockin...
Snow Patrol - Run
Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
Enjoy the videos. We'll catch up again tomorrow.
** by the way - anyone looking to learn how to comment: check out Johns message on 'The post that never ends..' below - now that's a comment. That's a whole damn post. Man that was funny - you got to start your own blog! **
I'll just keep them there til Snowpatrols lawyers come a'knockin...
Snow Patrol - Run
Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
Enjoy the videos. We'll catch up again tomorrow.
** by the way - anyone looking to learn how to comment: check out Johns message on 'The post that never ends..' below - now that's a comment. That's a whole damn post. Man that was funny - you got to start your own blog! **
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Hold Your Wee for a Wii / Hold Your Pee for a PS3
It's quite morbid when people start dying to get their hands on a video game console. Even a Wii.
Hold your wee for a wii - BBC
That, couple with the fact that it's murder getting your hands on a PS3, and it's looking like the extinction of the human race will be caused by next generation consoles, not some giant asteroid. I give it three more generations of consoles before we end up with some sci-fi running man esque situation. Bring it on!
Hold your wee for a wii - BBC
That, couple with the fact that it's murder getting your hands on a PS3, and it's looking like the extinction of the human race will be caused by next generation consoles, not some giant asteroid. I give it three more generations of consoles before we end up with some sci-fi running man esque situation. Bring it on!
The post that went on forever...
To think it's only Saturday night! It's been a busy last few days - what little time I've had with my computer has been spent repeatedly checking my email. I reckon it's a mild form of obsessive compulsive disorder. If my computer is switched on, I can't help clicking on the 'Get Mail' button. My heart rate rises as the icon swirls around while the request is made to the server. There's a moment of nervous tension after the icon has stopped rotating, and as the hollow tone from the computer is emitted I can't help feeling slightly agitated: that's another 30 seconds that no one has sent me an email...
For those who can't imagine why I would do this (and why on Earth I would share this with you) - it's a roller coaster ride, I promise you.
Anyway, back to everyday matters - here's how the weekend has panned out thus far:
* Head to Paparrazi Cafe on Fulham Rd on Friday. We've been there once before, great fun - great food - great company - and most importantly, great wine. Prices were reasonable enough (for South Kensington), and I have to recommend the Piccante, with the antipasto as a started. We were drinking the house red, which was actually very good - the somellier had chosen well. Bill came to £26 - rumours have been abound that it's due to shut down in the not too distant future, so really is worth a trip down there if you get the chance.
* Saturday: Took the bike on the road for the first time, on a trip down to Stratford. Terrifying ordeal and I did fear for my life on a number of occasions. Got there and back eventually and I do feel that I've accomplished something! I was curious as to how it'd feel to run a 5k after a decent bike ride (the answer? exhausting...). Shortly after that Deeps' came by, and we went down to the London Boat Show (or as I like to call it - the London Show of Boats). Wow - boats the size of houses, boats small enough to fit in your pocket. Boats of all shapes and sizes. Sail boats, motor boats, house boats, oar boats, monster boats, race boats, etc etc. I did come across a fantastic road the world race that interested me; amateurs are taken on and trained, then sent out as part of a team. The cost for this flight of fancy? £29,950. no joke. You pay them £30,000 to help crew their boat. I'm tempted - you can do each leg seperately for £3,000 + £2950 equipment. The leg passing the caribbean does sound pretty good - maybe the next challenge after the triathlon?
Finally (will this post never end???) - John came by - we went to watch Smoking Aces. Odd, odd movie - I'm not going to go into another rant, but seriously - hitmen - if you want someone offed, do it properly. Don't hire a bunch of neo-nazi muppets who are more than likely going to kill each other than the target. The actors did the best they could with the script, but really - there wasn't much to work with. I went into that movie expecting a killer story ala pulp fiction, lock stock, or even lucky number slevin. None of that. It was almost like three movies running simultaneously. Ryan R. and Ray Liotta are making something fairly serious - the rest of the cast are making a toungue in cheek homage to mindless violence. then add in a touch of gangster thriller, throw in a cheap story with not enough time to develop the characters fully, and hit fast forward. Occasionally hit 'play', then fast forward and continue doing this for 1h 30 mins. It was entertaining, but never captured my attention for any period of time. Watch this movie just for the experience.
Time to get back to some serious 24 watching. Things are just getting interesting...
For those who can't imagine why I would do this (and why on Earth I would share this with you) - it's a roller coaster ride, I promise you.
Anyway, back to everyday matters - here's how the weekend has panned out thus far:
* Head to Paparrazi Cafe on Fulham Rd on Friday. We've been there once before, great fun - great food - great company - and most importantly, great wine. Prices were reasonable enough (for South Kensington), and I have to recommend the Piccante, with the antipasto as a started. We were drinking the house red, which was actually very good - the somellier had chosen well. Bill came to £26 - rumours have been abound that it's due to shut down in the not too distant future, so really is worth a trip down there if you get the chance.
* Saturday: Took the bike on the road for the first time, on a trip down to Stratford. Terrifying ordeal and I did fear for my life on a number of occasions. Got there and back eventually and I do feel that I've accomplished something! I was curious as to how it'd feel to run a 5k after a decent bike ride (the answer? exhausting...). Shortly after that Deeps' came by, and we went down to the London Boat Show (or as I like to call it - the London Show of Boats). Wow - boats the size of houses, boats small enough to fit in your pocket. Boats of all shapes and sizes. Sail boats, motor boats, house boats, oar boats, monster boats, race boats, etc etc. I did come across a fantastic road the world race that interested me; amateurs are taken on and trained, then sent out as part of a team. The cost for this flight of fancy? £29,950. no joke. You pay them £30,000 to help crew their boat. I'm tempted - you can do each leg seperately for £3,000 + £2950 equipment. The leg passing the caribbean does sound pretty good - maybe the next challenge after the triathlon?
Finally (will this post never end???) - John came by - we went to watch Smoking Aces. Odd, odd movie - I'm not going to go into another rant, but seriously - hitmen - if you want someone offed, do it properly. Don't hire a bunch of neo-nazi muppets who are more than likely going to kill each other than the target. The actors did the best they could with the script, but really - there wasn't much to work with. I went into that movie expecting a killer story ala pulp fiction, lock stock, or even lucky number slevin. None of that. It was almost like three movies running simultaneously. Ryan R. and Ray Liotta are making something fairly serious - the rest of the cast are making a toungue in cheek homage to mindless violence. then add in a touch of gangster thriller, throw in a cheap story with not enough time to develop the characters fully, and hit fast forward. Occasionally hit 'play', then fast forward and continue doing this for 1h 30 mins. It was entertaining, but never captured my attention for any period of time. Watch this movie just for the experience.
Time to get back to some serious 24 watching. Things are just getting interesting...
Thursday, January 11, 2007
New years in Marbella...on YouTube
I've been meaning to make this since I came back...enjoy!
Dedicated to the family back at home - and to my parents. whose video camera I nicked ;) Happy New Year guys!
Dedicated to the family back at home - and to my parents. whose video camera I nicked ;) Happy New Year guys!
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Me Tarzan, You Jain
Deeps' and I are attending a series of lectures on Jainism - one of the oldest surviving religions in the world, and Deepti's own religion. Very interesting; I'm sure I must have ended up taking a few things out of context - I had to surpress a number of questions, didn't want to get a reputation of being a troublemaker. I'll save that for the next lecture!
I'm sure none of you want to hear the details - read on for a brief summary of what we learnt:
1. Vardhamana Mahavira (Lord Mahavira) popularised Jainism. Many believe he was the founder of the religion, although Jains believe the religion goes further back - dating all the way through to antiquity - Lord Mahavira was the 24th teacher.
2. Mahavira and Siddhartha Guatama, the founder of Buddhism, lived at the same time. In fact, it's assumed that when Siddhartha Guatama left his family to renounce worldly possesions, he took refuge at a Jain monastery. Several Buddhist teachings refer to Jain teachings, and Mahavira himself - evidence that Jainism was in fact an established religion at the time of Mahavira.
3. The cycle of life and rebirth (samsara) and moksha (liberation from the cycle) are central beliefs in Jainism. There is no all powerful God as such - rather, every soul may reach a Godlike state, which allows the eternal soul to attain infinite wisdom.
4. Through lives of discipline, the soul can be reincarnated as a tirthankara - a 'teacher'. Each tirthankara, like the islamic rasul may form a new religion.
5. Jains believe the universe was not created, but has always existed, and will last for an eternity. The only quality that reality has is the fact for change. The concept of infinity and eternity are common in Jainism - after all, what could possibly exist outside of an finite universe, or before a non-eternal timeline?
Who knows, I may end up getting some certification points from Birkbeck (U of London) - my PhD in theology may not be a pipedream after all!
I'm sure none of you want to hear the details - read on for a brief summary of what we learnt:
1. Vardhamana Mahavira (Lord Mahavira) popularised Jainism. Many believe he was the founder of the religion, although Jains believe the religion goes further back - dating all the way through to antiquity - Lord Mahavira was the 24th teacher.
2. Mahavira and Siddhartha Guatama, the founder of Buddhism, lived at the same time. In fact, it's assumed that when Siddhartha Guatama left his family to renounce worldly possesions, he took refuge at a Jain monastery. Several Buddhist teachings refer to Jain teachings, and Mahavira himself - evidence that Jainism was in fact an established religion at the time of Mahavira.
3. The cycle of life and rebirth (samsara) and moksha (liberation from the cycle) are central beliefs in Jainism. There is no all powerful God as such - rather, every soul may reach a Godlike state, which allows the eternal soul to attain infinite wisdom.
4. Through lives of discipline, the soul can be reincarnated as a tirthankara - a 'teacher'. Each tirthankara, like the islamic rasul may form a new religion.
5. Jains believe the universe was not created, but has always existed, and will last for an eternity. The only quality that reality has is the fact for change. The concept of infinity and eternity are common in Jainism - after all, what could possibly exist outside of an finite universe, or before a non-eternal timeline?
Who knows, I may end up getting some certification points from Birkbeck (U of London) - my PhD in theology may not be a pipedream after all!
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
the iPhone...worst kept secret ever or just common sense?
Finally! After months of the rumour mill being in overdrive, the day has finally come - the iPhone was announced in Stevie J's keynote speach today - if you haven't seen it yet, pop down to apple.com.
Yes, it may seem quite sad - and yes, some of you may call me a geek for saying this, but watching the keynote presentation gave me more than a fleeting sense of pride. Since moving from PCs (ugh) to Macs over three years ago, I've been a dedicated evangalist. Convincing people of the merits of buying a mac became my calling - and I have no shame in admitting it - I became an apple 'fanboy'. My homepage was apple.com, I would buy all my music from iTunes (even if it was cheaper to buy the CD), I stuck with iPods even when the competition hotted up on the MP3 player front. Hell I even started eating more apples, using DKNYs perfume, drinking cider - my dream destination was Vermont, to admire the apple orchards. I confessed to Deepti, on first setting foot in the Apple store, Regent Street, that we should find out it Apple would be willing to hire the store out as a venue for our wedding...
So, when I heard the cheers as the iPhone was released, it was almost as if apple were taking over. There's more to us than iPods, and you can't even compare vista to Mac OS X. To commemorate the 2 billionth song being downloaded from iTunes, I'll leave you with the following lyrics from Fiona Apple's song 'The First Taste';
'Give me the first taste, let it begin heaven cannot wait
Forever Darling, just start the chase - Ill let you win but you must
Make the endeavor
Oh, your love give me a heart contusion
Adagio breezes fill my skin with sudden red
Your hungry flirt borders intrusion
Im building memories on things we have not said
Full is not heavy as empty, not nearly my love, not nearly my love, not nearly'
Now, go put yourself out of the misery of using a PC and buy yourself a Mac. You owe it to yourself.
Yes, it may seem quite sad - and yes, some of you may call me a geek for saying this, but watching the keynote presentation gave me more than a fleeting sense of pride. Since moving from PCs (ugh) to Macs over three years ago, I've been a dedicated evangalist. Convincing people of the merits of buying a mac became my calling - and I have no shame in admitting it - I became an apple 'fanboy'. My homepage was apple.com, I would buy all my music from iTunes (even if it was cheaper to buy the CD), I stuck with iPods even when the competition hotted up on the MP3 player front. Hell I even started eating more apples, using DKNYs perfume, drinking cider - my dream destination was Vermont, to admire the apple orchards. I confessed to Deepti, on first setting foot in the Apple store, Regent Street, that we should find out it Apple would be willing to hire the store out as a venue for our wedding...
So, when I heard the cheers as the iPhone was released, it was almost as if apple were taking over. There's more to us than iPods, and you can't even compare vista to Mac OS X. To commemorate the 2 billionth song being downloaded from iTunes, I'll leave you with the following lyrics from Fiona Apple's song 'The First Taste';
'Give me the first taste, let it begin heaven cannot wait
Forever Darling, just start the chase - Ill let you win but you must
Make the endeavor
Oh, your love give me a heart contusion
Adagio breezes fill my skin with sudden red
Your hungry flirt borders intrusion
Im building memories on things we have not said
Full is not heavy as empty, not nearly my love, not nearly my love, not nearly'
Now, go put yourself out of the misery of using a PC and buy yourself a Mac. You owe it to yourself.
Monday, January 8, 2007
Ipod, Podcasting, Peas in a Pod and best of all...
Hands up anyone who's heard of 'pod based development'....
Anyone?
Anyway, the methodology is quite simple. One member from each of the teams working on the project get together, and work towards completing a small piece of work. So - start the recipe by breaking work down into its key components. Throw in one tester, one member from the user team, one member of the vendor team, and someone from infrastructure. Mix together around a table, and, following the effervescent thoes of several people trying to keep their workload down (or, more appropriatly, keep their workload from getting even larger), the assigned thread of the application can be defined, designed, and developed. The key deliverable is the test script that will give the thread a seal of approval from the control board (aka the pod bods).
To use our implementation as an example - the project was fairly far down the line. Development was slow - too many groups working with communication at the 'scarce to none' level. An underestimated testing cycle resulted in the project running behind schedule, which of course goes hand in hand with the project being over budget. Full credit has to go to our project manager, who suggested this approach, and as no one (especially senior management) appreciates change deep in a project, credit has to go to the management team for embracing this approach. Although too early to state any clear improvements, the increased level of inter team communication (one could say that all distinct teams are now part of the same pod), the opportunity to be questioned from members of the team that would have otherwise not been exposed to the application until further down the line (or alternatively, would have stopped being involved with the project at this point), and the growing optimism and confidence in the project can surely be witnessed by the management team.
It goes without saying the approach is not without issues. Looking at one area/thread of the application in isolation is like trying to pull out a single thread from a tangled web, with so many dependencies it seems that the task is just grey areas from other parts of the application. It always feels as if there's an indemnity clause by the fact that areas of the work one's pod should be doing should also be covered by the work another pod may be completing.
I'm sure you're all waiting with baited breath for updates on this, I'll keep you up to date with progress....in the mean time, if you'd like to get further acquainted with this approach, and other agile software development methodologies....
* wikipedias entry on agile development
* martin fowlers 'the new methodology'
* 'scrum' based development
Anyone?
Anyway, the methodology is quite simple. One member from each of the teams working on the project get together, and work towards completing a small piece of work. So - start the recipe by breaking work down into its key components. Throw in one tester, one member from the user team, one member of the vendor team, and someone from infrastructure. Mix together around a table, and, following the effervescent thoes of several people trying to keep their workload down (or, more appropriatly, keep their workload from getting even larger), the assigned thread of the application can be defined, designed, and developed. The key deliverable is the test script that will give the thread a seal of approval from the control board (aka the pod bods).
To use our implementation as an example - the project was fairly far down the line. Development was slow - too many groups working with communication at the 'scarce to none' level. An underestimated testing cycle resulted in the project running behind schedule, which of course goes hand in hand with the project being over budget. Full credit has to go to our project manager, who suggested this approach, and as no one (especially senior management) appreciates change deep in a project, credit has to go to the management team for embracing this approach. Although too early to state any clear improvements, the increased level of inter team communication (one could say that all distinct teams are now part of the same pod), the opportunity to be questioned from members of the team that would have otherwise not been exposed to the application until further down the line (or alternatively, would have stopped being involved with the project at this point), and the growing optimism and confidence in the project can surely be witnessed by the management team.
It goes without saying the approach is not without issues. Looking at one area/thread of the application in isolation is like trying to pull out a single thread from a tangled web, with so many dependencies it seems that the task is just grey areas from other parts of the application. It always feels as if there's an indemnity clause by the fact that areas of the work one's pod should be doing should also be covered by the work another pod may be completing.
I'm sure you're all waiting with baited breath for updates on this, I'll keep you up to date with progress....in the mean time, if you'd like to get further acquainted with this approach, and other agile software development methodologies....
* wikipedias entry on agile development
* martin fowlers 'the new methodology'
* 'scrum' based development
Saturday, January 6, 2007
Weather wasn't too bad
While loading photos from my trip back home, I came across this - 20 degrees C on new years eve!
It was 10 times less than that (2 degrees) here in London.
Btw - Flickr. Web 2.0. Blogger. It all just works. How?? Blogger is Google, Flickr is Yahoo. Yet they talk to each other so easily. Try it out, you'll be amazed!
It was 10 times less than that (2 degrees) here in London.
Btw - Flickr. Web 2.0. Blogger. It all just works. How?? Blogger is Google, Flickr is Yahoo. Yet they talk to each other so easily. Try it out, you'll be amazed!
Apocalypto (Review)
I must admit - I went to this movie (dragging Deepti along with me) - having heard about the extreme gore. Being the sucker for celebrity gossip that I am, I probably wouldn't have actually gone to see it if it weren't for the speculation, and Mel (Gruesome) Gibsons' probable downfall should this movie have sucked.
I was shocked - not by the gore (which although was present in spades, could not have matched the level of contreversy caused by 'Passion') but by the fact that the movie itself was pretty good....the central premise was fairly straightforward. It's Good vs Evil, man takes on the world to save his family. I'm sure you'll all agree, but watching the bad guys die grisly deaths is something we should have more of in movies. Can you imagine 'Home Alone', where the burglar ACTUALLY gets electrocuted? (Home Alone 2 would then see the kid serving time in the junior peneteniary for man-slaughter. The guards have gone on holiday and the kid has been left behind to fend for himself. It'd be a riot!)
Anyway. Back to the movie - the premise was great, the lead did a good job, although at times it was difficult to tell whether he was afraid or day dreaming. Directorial work was creditable - MGs contribution to American culture has to be applauded. It's good to know that this will help Americans realise that English has not always been the global language (not a word of this movie is spoken in English), there's a world outside of the good ol' US and A, and thems peoples who inhabit them there lands don't all speak english with an American accent.
Quality movie...although might be an idea to leave the kids at home with a copy of 'The Emporers New Groove', which has no human sacrifice. (4/5)
I was shocked - not by the gore (which although was present in spades, could not have matched the level of contreversy caused by 'Passion') but by the fact that the movie itself was pretty good....the central premise was fairly straightforward. It's Good vs Evil, man takes on the world to save his family. I'm sure you'll all agree, but watching the bad guys die grisly deaths is something we should have more of in movies. Can you imagine 'Home Alone', where the burglar ACTUALLY gets electrocuted? (Home Alone 2 would then see the kid serving time in the junior peneteniary for man-slaughter. The guards have gone on holiday and the kid has been left behind to fend for himself. It'd be a riot!)
Anyway. Back to the movie - the premise was great, the lead did a good job, although at times it was difficult to tell whether he was afraid or day dreaming. Directorial work was creditable - MGs contribution to American culture has to be applauded. It's good to know that this will help Americans realise that English has not always been the global language (not a word of this movie is spoken in English), there's a world outside of the good ol' US and A, and thems peoples who inhabit them there lands don't all speak english with an American accent.
Quality movie...although might be an idea to leave the kids at home with a copy of 'The Emporers New Groove', which has no human sacrifice. (4/5)
Thursday, January 4, 2007
another day...
triathlon training:
Monday - 750m swim
Tuesday - Weights session
Wednesday - rest
Thursday - Weights session
Friday - 750m swim
Saturday - 5km run
Sunday - 20km cycle
.....i get tired just thinking about it.....
Monday - 750m swim
Tuesday - Weights session
Wednesday - rest
Thursday - Weights session
Friday - 750m swim
Saturday - 5km run
Sunday - 20km cycle
.....i get tired just thinking about it.....
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
day 1...
Don't be alarmed: neilsamtani.com has changed!
Welcome to the new 'blogger' site - I have a feeling this year is going to be fairly busy (what, with the stag-do, the wedding, the honeymoon, the triathlon, the work, the java certification, losing a flatmate, gaining a wife, and all those other things that should make this a fairly interesting year!)
In due time I'm aiming to get all my photos onto Flickr and link to the gallery. For those people who don't know me, I'd like to add a short introduction. In the words of George Carlin...
' I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke-free, a diversified multi-cultural post-modern deconstructionist, politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect. I've been uplinked and downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high-tech lowlife, a cutting edge state-of-the-art bi-coastal multitasker, and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I'm new wave, but I'm old school, and my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hot-wired, heat-seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice-activated and biodegradable. I interface with my database, and my database is in cyberspace, so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time, I'm radioactive. Behind the 8-ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet, pushing the envelope. I'm on point, on task, on message, and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed. I have no urge to binge and purge. I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistics missionary. A street-wise smart bomb, a top-gun bottom-feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot slamdunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach. A raging workaholic, a working rageaholic, out of rehab and in denial. I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal agenda. You can't shut me up, you can't dumb me down, 'cause I'm tireless, and I'm wireless. I'm an alpha male on beta blockers. I'm a non-believer and an overachiever, laid back, but fashion forward, up front, down home, low rent, high maintenance; super size, long lasting, high definition, fast acting, oven ready, and built to last. I'm a hands-on, footloose, kneejerk headcase, prematurely post-traumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate mail. But I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing, a supportive, bonding, nurturing, primary caregiver. My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond, and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports. I'm gender specific, capital intensive, user friendly, and lactose intolerant. I like rough sex, I like tough love, I use the F-word in my e-mails, and the software on my hard drive is hardcore, no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a minimall, I bought a minivan at a megastore, I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm tollfree, bite size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes. A fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle. I've been prewashed, precooked, preheated, prescreened, preapproved, prepackaged, postdated, freeze dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity. I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal, lean and mean, cocked, locked, and ready to rock; rough, tough, and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide, I got glide in my stride. Drivin' and movin', sailin' and spinnin', jivin' and groovin', wailin' and winnin'. I don't snooze, so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy, and lunch time is crunch time. I'm hangin' in, there ain't no doubt, and I'm hangin' tough, over and out. '
Welcome to the new 'blogger' site - I have a feeling this year is going to be fairly busy (what, with the stag-do, the wedding, the honeymoon, the triathlon, the work, the java certification, losing a flatmate, gaining a wife, and all those other things that should make this a fairly interesting year!)
In due time I'm aiming to get all my photos onto Flickr and link to the gallery. For those people who don't know me, I'd like to add a short introduction. In the words of George Carlin...
' I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke-free, a diversified multi-cultural post-modern deconstructionist, politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect. I've been uplinked and downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high-tech lowlife, a cutting edge state-of-the-art bi-coastal multitasker, and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I'm new wave, but I'm old school, and my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hot-wired, heat-seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice-activated and biodegradable. I interface with my database, and my database is in cyberspace, so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time, I'm radioactive. Behind the 8-ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet, pushing the envelope. I'm on point, on task, on message, and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed. I have no urge to binge and purge. I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistics missionary. A street-wise smart bomb, a top-gun bottom-feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot slamdunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach. A raging workaholic, a working rageaholic, out of rehab and in denial. I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal agenda. You can't shut me up, you can't dumb me down, 'cause I'm tireless, and I'm wireless. I'm an alpha male on beta blockers. I'm a non-believer and an overachiever, laid back, but fashion forward, up front, down home, low rent, high maintenance; super size, long lasting, high definition, fast acting, oven ready, and built to last. I'm a hands-on, footloose, kneejerk headcase, prematurely post-traumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate mail. But I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing, a supportive, bonding, nurturing, primary caregiver. My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond, and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports. I'm gender specific, capital intensive, user friendly, and lactose intolerant. I like rough sex, I like tough love, I use the F-word in my e-mails, and the software on my hard drive is hardcore, no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a minimall, I bought a minivan at a megastore, I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm tollfree, bite size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes. A fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle. I've been prewashed, precooked, preheated, prescreened, preapproved, prepackaged, postdated, freeze dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity. I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal, lean and mean, cocked, locked, and ready to rock; rough, tough, and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide, I got glide in my stride. Drivin' and movin', sailin' and spinnin', jivin' and groovin', wailin' and winnin'. I don't snooze, so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy, and lunch time is crunch time. I'm hangin' in, there ain't no doubt, and I'm hangin' tough, over and out. '
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